Sunday, January 4, 2015

Long Time No See...No Kidding plus Museum Tour Part One

It's been a while since I've pulled out the blog-awesomesauce...
Well, in that case...
HAPPY NEW YEAR! (A little late on that one, aren't I?)
Anyway, while you guys were partying and everything, or getting ready for an awesome party, or whatever you were doing, I was walking through the High Museum of Art, taking pics of anything I liked and that was Greek mythology related.

So, because of lack of books being read, I will give you a tour of one of my favorite art museums. And here we go:
(Snobby voice)
We shall start in the lobby, where you will find a large wall of plates and a sit on.
How is that considered art you ask? I have no flippin recollection of why they decided to put a LOG in an art museum.

Next on out tour, we venture into...random hallways with sculptures in them. Exciting, I know, right?
We have our Mythology sculprures spread across the museums in different levels and sections, seperated by the nationality of their creator. To save confusion of European and American and other creators, I will bring the Mythology stuff together.

Here you see a random person sleeping with a faun right under them. Don't try this at home kids, chances are, you'll end up being pick-pocketed and left with only that blanket the guy's covered with. Bad idea, bro. Bad idea.

To continue with the faun theme, we have a sleeping faun, which is when it IS a good idea to sleep, so hopefully, you won't walk out of the wilderness without money.

Speaking of fauns, we have their leader (technically,anyway)Bacchus/Dionysus! (Yay...) Look's relatively normal, right? Zoom in, and we see that Bacchus is seriously not wearing enough clothes, and he's drunk. One of the weirdest things I saw at the museum. And that says a lot.

In Bacchus' younger years, his hobbies included drinking, eating grapes, and taking the world's first selfie with grapes, with a tiny kids in his grasp...weird.

We'll continue with the Roman/Greek gods.
Here we have some of the most annoying rulers of the universe created in history. *ducks under table* Okay, no being blasted to bits. :)
On the left we have Hera/Juno and on the right we have Zeus/ Jupiter. I had to read the label to tell which was a girl, because both of them look like girls.

And then we have Neptune/Poseidon looking like he's going to twirl on top of his weird fountain thing...
It's like: "Bro, chill. You HAVE a fountain. I get it."

Is it just me or does Persephone need more clothes? Like seriously, COVER THAT UP!

Ok, I don't understand why Diana/Artemis is holding the deer's horns like that. And she's drawing an arrow. With no bow. Wait, I have an idea...use the deer for your bow. Just stay still little dear, I need to shoot your cousin. That's...pretty sick.

This is everyone's favorite annoying baby that shoots you in the butt, Eros/Cupid! We all know he's checking out some hot chick that doesn't want to date someone, and then he's like, "Bro, I'll help you out with that!" And then shoots someone in the butt. It would be pretty messed up if he were the host of the Bachelorette. I don't know, it might be worse with the Bachelor. We all know that girls can get ferocious...that would be hilarious. Eros should be hired.

And now to our last god, Medea. Don't mistake her for a famous African American lady, she'll probably kill you. :) You can find a similar statue on Rick Riordan's blog, but this is Atlanta style, so this is much more awesome.

And last, but not least, is the only hero in the whole entire museum that was portrayed, THESEUS! In both of these pictures, it shows a sculpture of Theseus fighting a mythical monster, a centaur (bottom) and a minotaur (top). Both of which, look kind of weird.

And THAT is only part one of our museum tour, hope you guys have an awesome week!

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